Worship

Tips for Engaging Family Worship

What are some things you can do to get and keep your family engaged?

Build on Your Corporate Worship
Use the worship of your local church as a way to connect family worship to your weekly corporate worship. The weekly sermon passage can make a great starting point for Bible reading. You can either prepare for the upcoming Sunday or read and remember the text from last Sunday. Family worship is a great time to teach your family to sing, to sit still (start small!), and pray together.

Keep It Brief
Gyms are full on January 1 each year. By February 1? Not so much. Don’t make the mistake of trying to get too big or too serious. Take just a few minutes to read and pray together. Five minutes five days a week is 1300 minutes at the end of a year. 10 minutes? Double the fun. You get the idea—don’t make it long and laborious. Conscientious people may unwittingly teach their children to dread something that doesn’t have to be dreadful. If your kids are young, keep in mind that they have a short attention span. If they’re older, work to make family worship a refreshing time, not an overwhelming burden that sits like a brick in their stomachs when they hear it’s time to get together.

Mix It Up
Work hard to find things to keep family worship interesting. Mix things up from time to time. Get creative. Have your kids act out a Bible story—or have mom and dad act it out! Draw something to illustrate what you’re reading. Ask questions, and seek to be as interactive as possible. Talk about life, and then connect life to what you’re reading, singing, and praying about.

Know Your Family
Every family is different, and every kid in every family is different. For that matter, each child is different at different stages of life. Ask God for wisdom, don’t make it too much of a burden, and throw yourself into it! It helps to find a time when you’re already together (family meals, the beginning of the day, or the end of the day). “Baby steps” is the name of the game. The fruit is worth it in the end.

Trust the Lord
No matter how much time and intentionality you give to leading your family, you’ll find that you fail … a lot. In those moments, let these words encourage you to trust that God’s grace is big enough for your failures: “He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) Then get back up and give it another shot!

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What the Bible Says about Family Worship

While it might seem like a given that families should pursue Christ together at home, it’s also easy to dismiss an idea like this as too burdensome. But not only is family worship at home a good idea, it’s commanded and modeled in Scripture.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9
You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 

It doesn’t get a whole lot clearer than this, does it? Teach your children at home, when you’re out, when it’s bedtime, and when it’s time to get up.

Psalm 78
Tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.

This psalm highlights the importance of family worship by telling us again that it’s commanded for parents to teach children, and it’s through parents teaching children that the next generation learns about God’s greatness.

2 Timothy 1:5
I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.

Paul tells us about the important role that Timothy’s mom and grandmother played in leading him to Christ. The faithfulness of parents and grandparents plays a vital role in passing on the faith to succeeding generations.

Conclusion
These are just three texts of many in Scripture that highlight the importance of passing on our faith to others. In these instances, the ones receiving the benefits are children in the home of believing parents. If you don’t have kids, you could pass along your faith to someone else—your spouse or some friends:  What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also (2 Timothy 2:2).

Why Family Worship Is Difficult

Family worship (or family devotions, as we called them when I was a kid) is the gathering of a family together during the week to reflect in smaller ways what the gathered church does each Sunday together. This can be one of the most encouraging—but also most frustrating and discouraging—parts of the Christian life.

Responses to the idea of family worship tend toward extremes—(1) imagining a glorious ideal that will never happen or (2) simply throwing up your hands and saying you can’t do it. While both are temptations, I’d encourage you to hang in there and trust that the Lord will give you grace in this effort.

Many people don’t have the opportunity to enjoy family worship, due to life’s circumstances (unbelieving parents, unengaged parents, schedules that don’t intersect, etc.), but there are many other families who could pursue Christ together as a family but don’t.

So what are some obstacles to regular family worship?

Family
The family itself can make time together hard. Different stages of life mean different things, and each stages brings its own challenges. When your kids are young, it’s hard to get them to sit still. As they grow older, it’s hard to get everyone in the same place at the same time. And it’s hard to keep kids of different ages engaged (if you have multiple kids). Furthermore, while in two-parent homes Dad should serve as the spiritual leader, Mom is often more engaged and interested in the spiritual well-being of the family.

Time
We schedule our lives to the max. We tend to live this way individually, and this is magnified exponentially when it comes to families. School, sports, music, scouting, gymnastics, dance … the list could go on. And that doesn’t include the reality that our work tends to come with us wherever we go, and we have responsibilities at home and in our communities that are time-consuming. There just doesn’t seem to be enough time for the basic things of life, let alone things that aren’t absolutely required.

Culture
Our culture doesn’t value family time together. In ads or commercials for family events, they’re almost always geared around entertainment—Disney, a family smiling warmly at their devices, or watching a movie together. The idea of people sitting in a room and just being together without some form of entertainment feels more and more distant from everyday experience.

Laziness
Let’s face it—we’ve all been here. It’s hard to work up the energy to do one more thing after (or before) a long day at work. It doesn’t seem urgent, and we can get by without it. So we do things that are easier and that we can “slide” into. Gathering a family together and leading in a time of worship takes effort and intentionality.

Legalism
Legalism is the idea that we can earn God’s approval by performing to a certain standard. In a desire to avoid legalism we sometimes avoid doing good things that people who love the Lord should do. Because there’s no “law” that says we must, we neglect something that we should delight to do in love.

Lack of knowledge
Leading in family worship can be intimidating. We all feel lost sometimes. We don’t feel that we have the skill or resources to do it, so we avoid it altogether. Or we might give it a shot, but we’re just so lost that we lose our way altogether.

Fear of failure
Many parents (and dads in particular) are aware of their failings across a broad spectrum of life. It’s hard for someone who feels that he’s failing to lead a family to worship God. Beyond that, it’s hard to want to add another area in which it’s easy to fail—either by doing a poor job of leading (or feeling like you are) or starting something but not continuing faithfully in it.

If you find yourself failing or feeling discouraged, hang in there!

Worship Style & the Sufficiency of Scripture

John Frame’s excellent The Doctrine of the Word of God on the relationship between different styles and traditions in worship and the sufficiency of the Bible:

“Many traditions have also developed concerning worship and other aspects of church life. These concern the style and instrumentation of worship songs, the order of events in worship, degree of formality or informality, and so on. Many of these are not commanded by Scripture, but many are in accord with broad biblical principles. The problem is that church people will sometimes defend their particular practice as mandatory on all Christians, and they will criticize as spiritually inferior churches that use different styles and patterns. Often the criteria used are not scriptural, but aesthetic. People argue that this style of music is more dignified, that that liturgy is more ancient, and so forth. These aesthetic and historical criteria are often used in place of Scripture, leading to the condemnations of practices that Scripture permits and commanding of practices that Scripture does not command. That … in my judgment, violates the principles of sola Scriptura, the sufficiency of Scripture.” (p. 238)